* Consumption of alcohol may cause stupidity.
* The result of drinking this product may be pregnancy.
* Consuming this product may make you believe you are Superman. Please, do not attempt to leap off of tall buildings or pick a fight with anyone named Bubba.
* Use of this product by a minor may make you act like an adult.
* Consumption of this product may make you think four inches is actually ten.
* Excessive use of this product may make you pee your pants.
* Before drinking, remember, the life you destroy by excessive use may not be just your own.

(This is a must read)

* It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.
* It's the simple things in life that are the most extraordinary.
* When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.
* The Alchemists spent years in their laboratories, observing the fire that purified the metals. They spent so much time close to the fire that gradually they gave up the vanities of the world. They discovered that the purification of the metals led to a purification of themselves.
* Men dream more about coming home than about leaving.
* Wherever your heart is, that is where you'll find your treasure.
* When you possess great treasures within you, and try to tell others of them, seldom are you believed.
* Your eyes show the strength of your soul.
* Usually the threat of death makes people a lot more aware of their lives.
* That's what Alchemists do. They show that when we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better, too.

We're all going to die. It's not the dying that ends up bothering you, it's the living. The regrets, the unfinished business, the unfulfilled dreams, the lost relationships, the inability to forgive. These are things that haunt you on your death bed. These, and wondering where the hell all those socks went.

Dying is not all its cracked up to be. Its been 7 years since I almost bit the bullet, kicked the bucket, crossed over, passed on, bought the farm, died. You joke about it until it stares you in the face. Then it's not so funny. You come face to face with that last second. Here one minute, gone the next. I sometimes wonder how things would have been had I died. Would my wife remarry? She surely couldn't find anyone as nice as me. You come to a realization that things would have gone on without you. The most you can muster up is you hope you would be remembered. Your only shot at immortality-to be remembered. But for what?

The alchemists quest is to turn base metals, i.e. lead, into precious metals, i.e, gold and silver. In a modern day variation, my quest has been to turn dog poop into gold. But I'd settle for silver. Having owned up to as many as three dogs at one time, I've had plenty of material to work with. About as good as I've done so far is getting the trashman to yell when I put the poop out with my other trash. When he squishes it all together, I can hear him cussing two blocks away. Come to think of it, that is sort of a "golden" moment.