More and more I'm thinking that "the truth" is nothing more than our minds trying to find some certainty in this uncertain world. "The truth" never transfers very easily from one person to the next. In order to establish a truth, it usually requires a little persuading, sometimes by force; some stretching of the facts; and often countless retelling of the story. Still, there are some things that are hard to refute:
* You wake up in the morning, you're eventually going to take a dump.
* If two men are talking, sex will always become a topic.
* You cannot make a profit without cheating someone.
* A politician will never answer a question directly.
* Anyone claiming to know "the truth" is probably selling something.
* "The truth is plain to see" was the model of Neanderthal man.
* Truth is not in the eye of the beholder. It's in his or her mind.
* You can never count on the neighbor to snow-blow the driveway.
* You cannot kill your way to peace.
* If the last two people left on Earth were Bush and any female, the human race would be extinct, because I'm pretty sure he could never talk her into it.

Some things I'm thankful for:
* The last election. I thought it was great, although touch screen computers with no paper trail should not be used. They encourage cheating.
* I'm thankful I'm not a turkey.
* I'm thankful I'm retired. Now I have the time to really peeve people off.
* I got a coupon in the mail for $200 off if I plan and pay for my funeral now. Thanks.
* I'm thankful I don't have to worry about where my next meal is coming from or where I'll be sleeping tonight. I'd be more thankful if it weren't on the couch.
* I was thankful for the discount my dentist gave me when I went in and had my tooth cleaned.
* I'm thankful for all the friends I have. Most of them.
* I'm thankful my father taught me about being courteous. He said always keep your head up high, look everyone in the eyes, and say hello. He figured they were due that, regardless of their status or the circumstances they found themselves in.
* Thanksgiving. You can't beat it. A nice meal, some good pie, a couple of drinks, a little football, a nap or two, and some good anti-acid. Thank you.

1. Never ask why unless you can't think of anything else to say.
2. Don't ever take a loaded gun for granted.
3. If it's over 50 steps, better to drive.
4. Never buy a used car from a used car salesman.
5. If the sun is out and it's at least 45 degrees, tee it up.
6. In the scheme of things, the only thing more important than work is everything.
7. Don't turn your back on a politician or a gay midget.
8. The best places to live are always the most expensive and filled with Republicans.
9. By the time you figure out how it works, it's outdated.
10. Don't buy it if someone tries to sell you "the truth."
11. Never accept candy from a Mormon.
12. Never marry someone you haven't seen naked.
13. Remember, it is far easier to bitch about something than it is to try and straighten it out.

This is for all you right-wingers out there trying to come up with a definition of liberal. I'm going you help you, which you desperately need:
1. A liberal is interested in individual freedoms.
2. A liberal is not hesitant to raise questions about the government. I call this having positive doubt.
3. A liberal is tolerant and respectful of differences. This is why I am so nice to right-wing Republicans.
4. A liberal believes that the government is US. It's not a flag, or a motto, or a patriotic song. It is how we live our lives, how we get along, how we work together to make everyone's life better, not just the chosen few.
5. We believe the government exists, at least in part, to help those less fortunate. We don't believe CEO's or Board of Directors are on that list.
6. The government should never involve itself in sectarian faith.
7. The courts are responsible for protecting individual liberties and upholding the constitution. It does not set social policy or promote political ideologies.
8. The government has a duty and obligation to protect us and provide safely and security for the people, without sacrificing our constitutional values and personal liberties.
9. Liberals, until recently, have for too long put up with a lot of right-wing crap. I suppose it was out of our sense of compassion and mercy. Perhaps wimpiness. But not any longer.
This is by no means an inclusive list. You may want to add some additional traits of your own. Be my guest.

1. That Bush could have ever won a fair election. I still wonder.
2. You got to wonder: Who in their right mind would hinder or make a religious issue out of stem-cell research?
3. I've often wondered if anyone has had sex in outer space?
4. I wonder if the Democrats will be able to do any better than the Republicans?
5. I still wonder how the TV works. Where do all those people come from?
6. I wonder if we'll ever learn that you can't kill your way to peace?
7. I get to wondering about all the stories being played out in all the houses that I pass by while driving down the highway. All the triumphs, the sorrows, the celebrations, the kindness, the hatred, the hopes, the dreams, the despair, the graduations, the divorces, the births, the deaths, the sleepless nights. I wonder about that a lot. That, and whether or not they bought my first book.