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Leave It To Peever


 TEN WAYS TO LIGHT HER FIRE
 

1. Buy her flowers. Buy her chocolates. Hell, buy her anything.
2. Get out of your sweat-pants and T-shirt, shave, shower, and put on some cologne. Get into something decent, and make your move. Preferable with your wife.
3. You can always tell her she looks really sexy. Sometimes they fall for it.
4. Cook a nice meal, put on some soft music, a little soft candlelight, a good bottle of wine, and look for someone easy to fool.
5. Do something she doesn't expect you to do, like the dishes, or laundry, or fixing that leaky faucet. Don't include going on a golf trip with the guys on this list.
6. Plan a night out. No hockey, indoor football, or fishing show. Try the opera, symphony, a play, or suicide.
7. Try to set the night on fire. Of course, not literally.
8. Let her handle your remote, but don't try to trick her.
9. Turn the lights down low and do a strip-tease for her. When you get down to those small jockey shorts, make sure you have plenty of dollar bills laying around. This will both fascinate and amuse her. If she keeps the one's rather than stuffing them down your shorts, don't be surprised.
10. If all else fails, here's a fool proof tip: Take her hand in yours, look her straight in the eyes and tell her you love her and you would not want to be with anyone else in all the world, particularly since Anna Nicole died.
Now, you could use these tips for same-sex relationships, but obviously you'd have to make a few adjustments.

Posted by The Peever at 11:36 AM - 1 Comment   Add a Comment  
 

 BUMPER STICKER OF THE DAY:
 

WHY IS IT EVERY TIME WE'RE LOST, I'M DRIVING?

Posted by The Peever at 10:53 AM - 2 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY
 

Susan B. Anthony. Rachel Carson. Sojourner Truth. Amelia Earhart. Emma Goldman. Eleanor Roosevelt. Mary Harris (Mother Jones). Barbara Jordan. Rosa Parks. Margaret Sanger. Cindy Sheehan. Margaret Mead. Shirley Chisholm. Jane Adams. Rosie the Riveter. Helen Keller. Alice Walker. Doris Haddock (Granny O). Oprah Winfrey. Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Josephine Baker. Betty Friedan. Dorothy Day. Nancy Pelosi. Mother Teresa. Ella Baker. Judy Chicago. Harriet Beecher Stowe (Added by Whit).
To these and all women everywhere who have fought for equality, justice, compassion, and freedom. THANK YOU.
p.s. (Send others, I will add to list as they come in).

Posted by The Peever at 9:22 AM - 2 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 BABY BOOMER BABBLE
 

More Recent Boomer TV Happenings:

Speaking of 1967: "The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour" went on the air in February, 1967. What a show it was! It was one of the pioneers in social protest on television. Although the brothers looked conservative, they were anything but. After only two years, they were canceled. Way to controversial for the censors. The Smothers Brothers opened the door for biting satire on TV, with guest appearances by such notables as Steve Martin, Rob Reiner, Dan Novello (Father Guido Sarducci), Pat Paulsen, and Leigh French, the resident hippie. Musical acts, which leaned towards folk music, included Joan Baez, Janis Ian, Peter,Paul and Mary, Pete Seeger, and of course, The Smothers Brothers.

1974: August 9, 1974. Nixon resigns as the 37th President of the United States. I can't say it was a sad day for me, but it was for the country. He is the first President to step down facing criminal charges. He dodged being impeached and was let off the hook by President Gerald Ford, who immediately pardoned him. The whole Watergate affair had been painstakingly aired on TV. Maybe it was time to let it go. I'm thinking, how many ordinary people would get a break like that?

1977: Elvis dies. TV reported the death in detail, including the funeral. The autopsy reported his death being brought on by drugs. Fourteen different ones were found in his system, ten of them at lethal levels. His weight at the time of death was 350lbs. Doubts continue to linger about his actually being dead, the cause, and his treatment at the time of death. None-the-less, it appeared the King was dead. He was 42. We do have several excellent Elvis impersonators around the area keeping the legend alive.

1980: The United States hockey team beats the Soviet Union in the semi-finals of the Winter Olympics. I can remember watching this as though it were a mini-Cold War. And we prevailed. It was a huge event and a huge upset. I can remember feeling very proud.

1986: On January 26th, on take-off, the Challenger spacecraft explodes in front of a national television audience. It was a heart-wrenching experience. We had grown accustom to perfection. But the obvious dangers were in an instant driven home. With all this technology, humans still make the critical decisions.

1989: The Berlin Wall comes down. While more symbolic than anything, it was neat to watch people beating on the wall with hammers, dismantling it piece by piece. You can still find pieces of the Wall being sold on e-bay. Seems fitting.

1995: The O.J. Simpson arrest and trial were a TV bonanza. You talk about overdoing something. Here is an ex-football star accused of brutally murdering his ex-wife and her friend, and the TV networks make a spectacle out of it. It started with a car chase around LA in June of 1994, and ended with his acquittal on October 3, 1995. On that October day, 150 million people watched the verdict read. Everyone at the place I was working was gathered around the TV. We were all stunned. It seemed cut and dried. There were no other suspects at the time, and there continues to be no other suspects to this day. Andy Rooney, of "60 Minutes" fame, suggested the reason we were so mesmerized by the trial was because it showed us how you can get away with murder. Andy obviously was not impressed with the jury.

1997: The funeral of Diana, Princess of Wales, takes place at Westminster Abby. It was viewed by over one billion people worldwide. Just the other day there was another official report stating that by all the evidence, her death was an accident, and not murder.

2001: September 11, 2001. What a miserable day. I got news of the event on the internet. A plane had flown into one of the twin towers. You think probably a private plane where something had gone terribly wrong. Than a second plane hits. Now you don't know what's going on. I'm sure no one, not even the terrorists, thought the twin towers would fall. But fall they did. Before the end of the day, after watching those planes hit the towers maybe a hundred times, the story was beginning to come together. A terrorist attack. Things would never be the same.

2002: "American Idol" appeared in June, 2002. The viewing audience for the last show of the first season was fifty million. We watched Kelly Clarkson win. Just a few weeks ago, American Idol started its sixth season. Opening night saw an audience of 41 million. It has become a marketing phenomena for the music industry. "Dancing with the Stars" adopted a similar format with equally impressive audiences.

2004: The earthquake and resulting tsunami that hit south and southeast Asia was shown on TV having been filmed primarily by vacationers with hand-held cameras. The total killed and lost now totals 229,866. The devastation and strength of such a wave was awesome, and horrifying, to watch. This tsunami became one of the deadliest natural disasters in modern history.

2005: Hurricane Katrina hit the gulf coast near New Orleans on August 29, totally destroying several coastal towns and causing the levees holding back Lake Pontchartrain to break, flooding approximately 80% of New Orleans. Eighteen hundred and thirty-six people are known dead and hundreds of thousands homeless. It is the costliest natural disaster in this countries history. And there it was, in high-definition television, for all of us to see. The networks haven't followed the botched clean-up near as closely.

Well, that's some of the most memorable TV moments that I can remember. One of the things that strikes me in looking over the list is how many of them were tragedies. Clearly, that seems to be what dominates the news. Maybe that's a fault of ours. Maybe that's just the news. After all, the status quo and is not very exciting. There were many other highlights that I have failed to mention. If you have some of your own, please send them in.

I hope you have enjoyed the television years. We aren't known as the television generation for no good reason. But it's time to move on.
Next: A visit to 1948, the year I officially became a baby boomer.

Posted by The Peever at 11:17 AM - 4 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 BUMPER STICKER OF THE DAY:
 

I'M TIRED OF ALL THE BUSHIT.

Posted by The Peever at 9:40 AM - 4 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
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Author: The Peever
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