* The Big Bad Wolf was a pimp.
* Alice was high on drugs.
* Old Mother Hubbard was on welfare.
* It wasn't a lamb that Mary had.
* Little Bo Peep sold her sheep to Woolrich.
* Humpty-Dumpty was a bad egg.
* Rub-A-Dub-Dub, Three Men in a Tub. Guess what?
* How could Three Blind Mice run after the farmer's wife?
* Its been said Mother Goose was not really a goose, or a mother, but an Englishman writing about the many trials and tribulations of living in England. I'm not falling for that.